Faithful Then and Now
It may seem like I’m just being sappy here because the 4 humans who live in my home (including myself) received COVID-19 positive diagnoses this weekend. Maybe, but I don’t think so.
This has been rising in my Spirit for a while, I just haven’t had much time to process it. Today, I MADE some time.
YEARS ago (seriously, like 24 years ago) I was the ripe old age of 22 with one small barely-a-toddler at home, and a baby due any day now. It was the “season” before the internet, before cell phones, before email even. Isolation was sharp.
Sitting in our living room surrounded by wood panel walls, a maroon and navy striped couch, and a 25” TV with no reception…plopped in a hunter green glider rocker, I poured my loneliness out to God.
I remember it crystal clear. Many moments spent with the Spirit of God are that way for me. Etched in my memory. Different than other moments because they somehow change me…chang my trajectory.
As I cried real tears, and expressed my longing to have someone speak out a prophetic word of faith over my small family — my toes started to tingle (metaphorically speaking). From deep DEEP in the depths in my soul I heard the Spirit of God say, “Shanna! Stand to your feet and PROPHECY OVER YOURSELF.”
And, I did. Over and over, every scripture I knew. In agreement with every word I sensed Heaven was whispering. Every ounce of trust and faith and belief and longing - hours - CALLING HEAVEN DOWN TO EARTH.
That prayer session was mere days before Hosanna graced the world with her presence. The Lord spoke to me again, and said with the birth of this baby, you will enter a season of prayer. Hosanna means, “Save Us Lord, We Pray.” And, I totally believe that my family experiences blessing, and joy and break through today (in some areas) as a result of those prayers prayed 20+ years ago. Prophetic Words still living, and active and working the character of Jesus in to us.
Listen. 2020 was…laborious? I don’t know. I don’t even have a word that describes it.
(Side Note: 2020 wasn’t all bad. We got Sam Diefenbacher, our son-in-love, for starters. My other son-in-love, Jacob, became a real life fireman. Benjamin started dating Christin, whom we also love. Victoria finished a big chunk of her bachelor’s degree, and single handedly educated Eli through COVID isolation. Billy and I made career changes that have been fun, and exciting, and re-invigorating to us. I spent precious time with a daughter I placed for adoption 32 years ago....
Actually, that’s A LOT of great happening in 2020, yes?)
Still, like many of you, I found myself asking the Spirit of God questions through out the year. Where was He? What was He doing while we were all staying home and away from each other? What was He doing while people were afraid…dying…fighting…hurting…voting like their lives depended on it? Truth be told, I went day after day after day in 2020 asking these questions, and not having an answer.
These past couple of days, I did Hear. I head, “Shanna, stop asking. Hold on to your faith, and stand and PROPHECY OVER YOURSELF.” And, the questioning of where have you been, what have you been doing - fell away.
I don’t want a new year’s resolution. That’s unusual for me, but the very thought repulses me currently. In fact, I don’t want a word for the year. I don’t want an intention. I want the spirit of God to come to my house, my children, my tribe, my…earth…and do what only He can do. I want broken things put back together. I want restoration, life out of dead places, peace admist turmoil. Really, I just want Jesus.
Billy and I (as well as our children) have prayed for somethings that have never EVER happened.
One thing in-particular, that’s very important to us, was a topic of our weekend conversation. I said, “B, maybe we are asking for the wrong thing. If it’s a matter of praying until we have ‘break through’, I know how to do that, and will do it. But maybe our heads are buried too deep in the sand on this. Maybe we need to claim the bigger prayer ‘as it is in Heaven, so be it in our hearts and family.’ Calling heaven to earth.
Despite nearly 30 years of interacting with a world that would try to convince us otherwise, we are both still, 100% Jesus people.
If you are praying, and resetting and longing during this time, this I know -
He was faithful before, He will continue to be faithful now
I have not seen with my eyes all the answers to my prayers. In fact, I WON’T always get to see. But I still believe in a God who can and will make all things right again. The end game is victory.
There is a time when all the broken things are put back together, where stories are told with accuracy, and where our momentary struggles are forgotten. It’s not just you, I long for it too.
God doesn’t fail.
This year I will speak to my fear, and prophecy to my own heart. And, while I’m at it, I will speak an audacious word or two over my husband and children as well. Maybe even a friend, and my community.
If you are praying, and standing or perhaps…you are just deciding by God’s Spirit to get back up…if you are longing and hoping and wanting and declaring…you are in good company this year.
Let this be a prophetic word over you and yours:
KEEP GOING. BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. HE’S OVER COME IT ALREADY. HE DOES MIRACLES. HE BREAK THROUGHS. HE NEVER, EVER LEAVES.
Many blessings and holy expectations for all He’s going to do,
Shanna